


Learning to Expect the Unexpected

by ObsidianRomance



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Birth, Bottom Jared, Established Relationship, Impregnation, M/M, Male Lactation, Mpreg, Nipple Play, cute kid, mpreg Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-27
Updated: 2013-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-02 19:00:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1060401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRomance/pseuds/ObsidianRomance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is taken from the prompt by spirelloforyou: Jensen and Jared have a son, and their child is the only one who doesn't have a sibling (in his kindergarten class). So, he begs his parents for a sibling. Jensen and Jared haven't really planned to have a second child, their first child wasn't even planned (but still very welcomed). They do talk about it, and decide that it's something they want too. When the baby finally arrives their firstborn doesn't think the baby is that much fun. They can't play, and all the baby ever does is either eating or sleeping or crying. Jared and Jensen tries to comfort their firstborn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Expected

Years before there were vows between them, years before owning a house and intertwined lives, there was a positive pregnancy test.

It was one of those things that wedged itself between Jared and Jensen, demanding attention like it had chaser lights around it.

After there was a positive pregnancy test, there were arguments and two very unhappy sets of parents who demanded they weren’t ready to be grandparents.

There were tears and the derailment of plans. There were packed bags and unpacked bags and between it all there were two people who really wanted things to work and didn’t understand why people were painting such dismal odds.

There was determination.

There was a proposal and a rejection but it came with the promise of a “maybe.”

There was a hospital and a health scare.

And then there was a baby.

Then there were no more arguments, at least not about having a baby.  There were no more unhappy sets of parents, only two sets of enthusiastic grandparents.

There were sleepless nights and exhaustion.

But then, there was another proposal and a “yes” and a wedding where they happily let their parents call the shots.

At the end of it all, in the wake of it all, after tears and laughter, after first birthday parties, a second birthday, third birthday and a fourth, there was a family.

It came with battle scars and trophies but it was theirs.

Theirs.

*************

“Jensen!” Jared practically trips over his husband’s kicked off shoes the moment he walks into the front door.  He has to catch himself on the wall to stop himself from falling face first on the hard wood floor.

Jensen pops his head out from the kitchen, just long enough to catch Jared’s frustrated scowl before disappearing with a sheepish, guilty smile.

There isn’t much time to argue because Liam scampers in the house, barreling towards Jensen and practically slamming into him so he can hug him around the knees.

“Dad!”  He ends up practically crawling up Jensen’s leg.

“Hey, Liam.”  Jensen ruffled his son’s hair and gave the boy a smirk.  “You know what I’m doing in here, huh?”

“Yeah, I smelled it!”  Liam has a wide smile on his face, his green eyes so bright it looks like they’re running on their own power source.

“Well come up here and help me.”  Jensen scoops Liam up and sits him on the counter beside the pot of sauce he’s currently focusing on.  “Here, help me put some of this in.”  Handing his son a palm-full of spices, he laughs when Liam throws it in the pot with delight.

Jared props his hip up against the doorway and shakes his head, letting his previous agitation over his husband’s constant refusal to take off his shoes in a less trip-worthy location.  “The two of you share the same stomach.”

“Hey, can you blame him for liking his dad’s cooking?”  Jensen smiles and rests his chin on Liam’s head.  “Right buddy?”

“I like spaghetti night!”  Liam dips a finger in the pot, lightening quick and giving every indication that it’s a movement long learned from routine use.  He pops his finger in his mouth smiles before going to do it again.

Jensen catches his wrist and shakes his head.  “Uhn-uhh, Liam.”  He curls Liam’s fingers into the little boy’s palm and uncurls a previously un-sauced finger.  “We don’t double dip.”

Nodding, Liam promptly dips his finger in again.

“Does it need anything?” Jensen asks his pint-sized cook.

Liam makes a big show of thinking hard.  “I dunno.  I don’t think so.”

“Should we ask papa?”  Waiting for Liam’s nod in agreement, Jensen dips a finger in the sauce and holds it up to Jared’s lips.

Quirking an eyebrow, Jared gives a laugh.  “You know, there are these things, called spoons, and most people use them to taste food.”  Despite his teasing, he opens his mouth and lets his tongue hit Jensen’s finger before sucking his husband’s digit and swiping off the sauce with a roll of his tongue.  Letting out a hum in approval, he gives Jensen a sly look. 

“Good?”  Jensen asks hopefully.

“You know it’s good.  It’s like the one thing you know how to cook.”  Jared smiles but let out a surprised gasp when Jensen catches him off guard and slams their lips together.  There is the taste of sauce on both men’s lips and Jared moans.  When they break apart, Jared gently touches a hand to his lips like he’s trying to keep the feeling there.  A blush or remembrance creeps over his cheeks and he laughs.  “Do you remember the first time you made sauce for me?”

Jensen’s eyes soften along with his smile.  “Of course I do.  It was our first date and my parents were out of town for the weekend.  I skipped school so I could make sure everything was perfect.  I was so nervous I spilt half the pot of sauce on my hand before you even got there.  Burned myself so bad – ”

“But you hid it from me.  You should have gone to the hospital, you idiot.”  A laugh bubbles up from Jared’s throat and he shakes his head lightly.

“And ruin our first official dinner date?  Hell, no.”  Jensen smiles as his eyes flash towards Liam, still busy stirring the pot, and his smiles broadens.  “It worked, didn’t it?  I got your hooked on my cooking skills, however meager they might be.”

“Got hooked on you.”  Jared adds with a smirk.

“More than that.”  Turning to Liam, Jensen takes the boy’s palm shakes some salt into it.  “Here you go, kiddo.  Add that.”  After watching to ensure that Liam does, he smiles back at his husband.  “Remember when you were pregnant with Liam?  You didn’t crave _anything_ except red sauce.  You wanted it on _everything_.  And jarred sauce wouldn’t cut it.”  Running a hand through his hair, Jensen lets out a snicker.  “I spent all my free time making you sauce.  Hell, I practically didn’t make it through that semester’s worth of classes because I was too focused on making you happy.”

Jared laughs at the vivid memory.  “And trust me, I loved you for it.  Still do.  It was the _only_ thing I wanted.  I swore someone lied about our genetics or something and we were having an Italian baby.”  His fingers dance over his abdomen, skimming through the past to when Liam was tucked inside of him and wanting nothing more than his daddy’s homemade spaghetti and sauce.  “It’s why I’ve never been shocked that Liam wants to have Spaghetti Tuesdays on Wednesdays and Thursdays too.”

“Like father like son I guess.”  There is no denying the proud puff of Jensen’s chest.

Almost on cue Liam shoots both his parents a grin and solidifies the fact that he shares more than just Jensen’s palate.  He’s a little carbon copy, aside from Liam sharing Jared’s coloring.  He zeros in on Jared and Jared is just as helpless under his son’s gaze as he is under Jensen’s.  “Papa?”

“Yeah, baby?”  Jared ruffles Liam’s hair and moves closer.

“Why don’t I have a brother?”

“Umm…”  Jared shoots Jensen a look, their eyes both widening at the unexpectedness of their son’s inquiry.  “What do you mean, baby?”

“Well,” Liam starts, squaring his shoulders and settling in for one of his long winded explanations, “today in school we were reading a book about two brothers.  And…and…and…”  He screwed up his face in thought and let out a loud huff.  “And…” After a deep breath, he lets out his words in one burst of excitement.  “Jimmy said that he has a brother and Rocco has one too.  And Lisa said she has a brother _and_ a sister.  And Thalia has two brothers.  And…and…and…And Simon has _two_ sisters.  Why don’t I have a brother?”

“Well...”  Jensen starts, chewing his lip as he tries to come up with a child friendly account of why he and Jared only had one baby.  Wheels in his head turn but he knows there is no way to explain that Liam is an only child because he was an accident.  A happy accident, but an accident no less.  There is no way to make Liam, a five year old who doesn’t see anything more complex than figuring how to stay up past bedtime, understand that Jared and Jensen had to grow up fast, get degrees under their belts, and struggle for years to finally land themselves in a comfortable place where they can enjoy their lives.  They’ve fallen into an easier routine and that isn’t something they want to topple.  Liam’s arrival zapped their young adult years in the rear but now that he’s older, Jared and Jensen are finally getting to relax.  It’s not that they are against having another baby, it is more that they are against losing their personal time now that they’ve finally gotten a taste of it.

Jared sees Liam’s pleading eyes and wishes he had a better answer than, “Li, we love you so much that we can’t imagine having anyone in our family but you.”

The excuse doesn’t fly with the little boy.  He snorts.  “But… _everyone_ has a little brother or sister.  _Everyone_.  And I don’t.  I’m all alone.  I had no one to play with because there were a lot of brothers and sisters visiting.  _And Ryan has a big brother! He was nice._ ”  The story gets jumbled as he rambles on in true five year old fashion.

“Li, I’m sure some of your classmates don’t have siblings,” Jensen offers.

“Nope.” Jared answers.  “I guess it is the weird luck of the draw but all of Liam’s classmates have a sister or brother.  Trust me.  I know.  I pick him up from school every day.  I’m the one who gets all the questions from nosey parents over when we’re having another baby.”

“Huh,” Jensen snorts.  “Really?”

“Really.”

“Huh,” is all Jensen can say as he ponders that fact.

“Can I have a brother?”  Liam begs his parents.  “ _Pleeeeease_.”  He brings both hands to his chest and makes the cutest darn pleading face his parents have ever seen.

“Liam…”  Jared laughs softly.  He’s sure Liam things getting a new sibling is as easy as getting a new shirt from the store.  It’s harder.  A lot harder and Jared shivers at the thought.  “Liam, I don’t know about that.  Aren’t you happy with your room?  If you had a little brother, you two might have to share.”

“I don’t care.  I’m a good sharer.  You tell me that.”  Liam’s words are still saturated with the intensity of his plea.  “He can have all my toy cars and my bed and I can sleep on the floor.”

Both men laugh.  “You wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor, Liam,” Jensen says.

“But I would! I can sleep on the floor!”

“That is sweet, baby.”  Jared kisses his son’s forehead.  “But I don’t know about giving you a new little brother right now.  We’re kind of busy.”  He looks at Jensen and hopes his husband understands that there is more than just bedroom situations to worry about.  There is Jared’s relatively new job and the fact that their house has three bedrooms, one of them currently a very small office.

Tears happen in an instant.  Liam, who isn’t usually a crier or whiney, lets out a demanding whine.  “But I want one!”  With balled up fists, he rubs at his eyes and cries harder.  “I just want _one_.”

Jared tried to pull Liam into a hug but he’s too upset to cooperate.  Instead, he scoots back on the counter and cries between repeated requests for a brother.

With a hand on Jared’s shoulder, Jensen abandons cooking duty and lowers his voice to a whisper.  “Here, I’ve got his.  You finish up with the sauce.  Me and our little man are going to have a talk.”  He tugs Liam into his arms and marches off towards the boy’s room.  Liam’s tear streaked face is poking up over Jensen’s shoulder and he wipes a wet cheek on his father’s shirt.

Jared sighs and gives a helpless shake of his head.

Sometimes he wished that figuring out how to parent Liam was as simple as following a recipe.

*************

After Liam is tucked into bed that night, Jared comes out from his shower with a towel slung low on his hips.

From his spot on their bed, Jensen raises an eyebrow and puts the book he’s been reading down.

“You always do that…like you’re expecting me to look different or something,” Jared says as he ruffles a small towel through his hair.  He’s wearing a small smile that reveals how much he enjoys his husband’s continued attention.

“No, just like the view.”  Jensen licks his lips with a quick appearance of his tongue.

“You’re not bad yourself.”  Jared sits on the edge of the bed and fiddles with the alarm clock he doesn’t need because Liam has a perfect track record or waking them up on time.

Sliding the glasses down his nose, Jensen scoffs.  “Yeah?  With the pharmacy reading glasses and all?”

“Especially with the pharmacy reading glasses,” Jared adds with another smile.

“Okay, good.  Because if the company keeps asking me to read everything we market, I’m going to go blind.”

“Oh don’t worry.  I’d still love you.”

There is mock shock in Jensen’s voice when he replies, “You would?”

“Oh hell yeah.  I’d even teach you braille or something.”

“Jay, you don’t know braille.”

Jared pauses in thought and smirks.  “Oh yes I do.”  He grabs Jensen’s palm and flattens it to his naked chest, pressing it tighter so his husband can feel his heartbeat.  “What do you feel?”

“You.” Licking his lips again, Jensen’s voice becomes a breathy whisper.  “Your warmth.  Your heart beating because you love me.”

There is a slight nod of Jared’s head.  “See, I do know braille”

Jensen takes the opportunity to move his hand over Jared’s chest on his own.  His fingers brush up against his husband’s left nipple and he rolls it between his thumb and forefinger.  There is a gasp from Jared but he keeps it up, tweaking it gently and ensuring that it becomes a hard pebbled rise.  Gently, he runs the pad of his finger over it.  “What does this little bump mean then?”

“It means,” Jared begins with a flutter of his eyelashes, “that you’re a very naughty man who knows a little too much about how my body operates.”

“Oh, really?”  Jensen takes the challenge and leans forward, capturing Jared’s lips in a soft kiss that grows more urgent as their lips work together.  Cupping the back of his head with one hand, he pulls Jared closer, plundering his husband’s mouth when an enthusiastic tongue.  In the meanwhile, his hands makes a slow drag towards Jared’s other nipple, where he proceeds to toy with it and coax it into being the hardened nub he wants it to be.

Jared gasps.  There might be a lick of pain in the exhalation but it’s drowned out by pleasure and desire.  He holds Jensen’s hand to his chest and forces his husband to play with his nipples more forcefully.

Jensen obliges.  He takes turns rolling each bud between his fingers before breaking their kiss so he can alternate sucking Jared’s nipples and nibbling at them.  His hand slides down Jared’s naked body and yanks at the towel, revealing the man’s length in the process of rapidly twitching to life.  With a slow curl of his fingers, he wraps his hand out it and squeezes gently.  “And what does this mean?”

“It means,” Jared takes a breath to compose himself, “exactly what you _know_ it means.  That my nipples are like a lightning rod to my dick.”  He lets out a yelp when Jensen bites harder.

Keeping his lips over Jared’s left nipple, Jensen rolls his eyes up and catches Jared’s half-lidded look of pleasure.  He backs off a fraction of an inch so he can speak.  “I love how sensitive they are.”

“Worse ever since Liam was born,” Jared clarifies.

Their son’s name douses the situation in ice water.

They both realize it and their actions still until they make slow movements so that their eyes lock.

“Jen…”

“Jay…”

“We’ve got to talk about Liam.” Jared tugs the towel around his waist again.

“I know.”  Jensen shakes his head.  “It’s crazy…us having another baby.”

“Yeah, it is, right?  I mean…we just got everything settled into a happy routine.  And...” he lets his words drop away and looks at the older man.  “What a silly suggestion, right?”

“He’s a kid, Jare.  He doesn’t know what he’s asking,” Jensen adds as he gives a nervous scratch to the back of his head.

“I know.  It just…it broke my heart to see him cry like that.  He’s so mad at me for saying ‘no’.  Why am I the bad guy?”  With fallen shoulders, Jared gives a sigh.

“Because you said ‘no’ first.  He’s mad at me too.  But people don’t go and have babies because their child asks them too.  That’s insane.”

“Completely,” Jared adds in agreement.

They go silent.  Jensen picks at a speck of lint on their bed’s comforter and Jared brushes back wet strands of hair.

“Well, it’s not _that_ crazy.”  Jared breaking the silence makes Jensen jump and he blushes in embarrassment.

The power of suggestion hits Jensen hard and he finds himself nodding.  “No, I guess it’s not.”

Caught on fire with the idea, Jared’s words come out fast and impassioned.  “I mean, we have the money.  And we’ve both got steady jobs.  Mine is new but they love me.  Apparently I’m the best human resources manager they’ve ever had.”

“Yeah, and we’ve got the room.  I don’t need an office.  I do half of my work in this bed, despite how much you hate it.”  The liveliness in Jensen’s voice rubs off on all parts of his body language.

“So…It’s not crazy?”  Jared asks.

“No, I guess not.”

They both fall into silence again, eyes scanning the room so that one would think their ceiling’s corners had never been more fascinating.

Biting at his bottom lip, Jensen can’t find his voice.  He looks like he has something weighty to say as his eyebrows knit together and he sighs.  “Another baby?”

Still lost in his own thoughts and not hearing Jensen’s words, Jared blinks at his husband.  “What?”

“Do you…do you,” swallowing thickly, Jensen makes an adorable raise of his palms in suggestion.  “Do you want to have another baby?”

Jared can only respond dumbly with, “do you?”

“I asked first.”

“Yeah…but…”  Licking his lips, Jared shrugs.  “Before Liam, before our plans got put on the fast track to baby-dom and fatherhood, I thought I wanted two kids.  And then everything got messed up and it was so scary being on our own and doing things with Liam that I wasn’t ready to be doing.  I know you were scared too.  I know you understand.  I thought…I thought I could figure out who I was first before I had to figure out who my baby was.”

“Jare,” Jensen frowns slightly and cups his husband’s cheek.  “You did awesome with Liam.  So fantastic.”

“No, I know that.  I know we’re good dads.  And I love him.  _God do I love him_.  But I never thought I would have a baby before finishing college.  I never thought we would live in a shoebox of an apartment with a screaming newborn.  My plans involved finishing school, being ridiculously foolish with you, finding jobs and home, then running off and getting married, maybe spending some years still being ridiculously foolish.  And then, after all that growing up, I thought we’d have a couple of kids.”  Voice hitching, Jared looks up at the ceiling with glossy eyes.

“Maybe it didn’t turn out in that order but we got to the same result, huh?”  Jensen wipes at the corner of Jared’s eye.  “Although, that ‘being ridiculously foolish’ part sounds pretty good to me.  We missed that part, huh?”

“Yeah.”  Jared pulls Jensen hand away from brushing away tears and kisses his husband’s knuckles.  “It makes me sad sometimes but not really.  I’ve got you and a healthy, smart, too cute for his own good son.  That’s all I need.”

“And maybe a new baby?”  Jensen says with a glint of hope.

Nodding, Jared squeezes Jensen’s hand.  “Yeah, maybe a new baby.”

Despite looking a shade away from being terrified, Jared and Jensen smile at each other.  It’s that twitchy, nervous kind of smile like they can’t figure out an action worthy of the importance of the conversation they’ve just had.

They fall back on an old reliable gesture.  Jensen pulls Jared in for a hug, tucking him under his arm and close to his body.  He nuzzles into his husband’s neck and kisses up the side of it, trailing into Jared’s hairline so that his breath tickles the sensitive skin there.  “I’ll make you a pot of sauce every day if you wanted to get pregnant again.”

To that, Jared laughs.

With a sudden shift, Jensen has his arm bracing Jared’s back and his hand cradling the base of the man’s skull so that he can keep Jared in his arms while dipping his down for a long drawn out kiss.  It’s innocent at first but they both get with the program and their breathing speeds up to match their thumping hearts.  They swallow each other’s moans to the point where they combine to become one sound.

Jensen gets impatient and guides Jared so that he’s lying on the bed comfortably. With a slow rake of his hands down the sides of the man’s body, Jensen’s finger catch on the towel at his hips and yank it open.  Taking the briefest moment to admire the view, Jensen gives a lucky smirk before diving in for another kiss, this time shoving their weigh upward and crashing their growing arousals together.

Not one to let Jensen be the only impatient one, Jared’s hands scramble to shove down Jensen’s sleep shorts.  The elastic band makes it an easy process but he slides them over the curve of Jensen’s ass slowly, making sure to give a squeeze to both firm globes before getting a demanding hold on both of them and pulling Jensen’s weight flush against his body.  They both groan and unravel into frantic kisses.  Soon Jared’s lips are panting and his hand is making teasing exploratory movements over Jensen’s blood thick length.

There is a long moment where they both let themselves succumb to the touching and petting.  Jensen opens his eyes while sharing a breath with his husband and sees a smile of want travel between both their gazes.  His thumb swipes over the head of Jared’s dick and comes away sticky.  It almost kills him when he brings the hand to cup Jared’s face and the man sucks his own pre-come off Jensen’s thumb in slow calculated movement.  “Christ.”

Through his attempts to look impish, a nervous smile breaks through Jared’s resolve.  The uncertainty on his face is clearly only a shadow of the war he’s having in his brain.  He gives Jensen a kiss, lingering for a moment like he needs to memorize their connection every time they touch, then he pulls away and rummages through the drawer on their nightstand.  His fingers flitter over foil condom wrappers and push them aside to a forgotten back corner of the drawer.  Making a satisfied noise, he pulls out a silicone based lube an drops it on his stomach.

Jensen stares at it for a second, eyes sending up a silent question to his husband.

Licking his lips, Jared nods.

There are no condoms built into this equation.

“Yeah?”  Jensen asks again, this time using words.

“Yeah,” Jared answers and spreads his legs wide enough to expose his opening.

It’s Jensen’s turn to lick his lips but he does so while coating the fingers of his right hand with lube.  He turns off the worry in his brain for the time being and lets his fingers have their way with Jared’s tight furl of muscle.  They tease and prod and circle the opening before one slips in along with a satisfied moan from Jared.

Jared props himself up on one elbow, looking down to watch Jensen focus so intently on what he’s doing.

Liking the audience, Jensen keeps his eyes trained on Jared’s, even while kissing up his husband’s middle, over his chest, and nipping at his neck.  Eventually, he sits back on his heels and adds a second finger, searching and prepping with complete dedication.

Pushing up into Jensen’s fingers, Jared moans.  He widens his legs for more and his insides suck at Jensen’s fingers.

Jensen feels Jared’s hole draw him inside and flutter against his digits.  He adds another finger to meet similar results.  “You greedy little thing.”  Jensen kisses the inside of Jared’s thigh and scissors his fingers for a more thorough stretch.

“Always greedy for what you offer.”  Jared’s eyes shine with the complete truth of that statement.  He closes them as Jensen’s finger tips nudge up against his prostate and he shivers.  It happens several more times before his chest has a light sheen of sweat and he’s writhing on their bed in search of more direct and intense contact.

“Shh, we’ll get to _that_ part.”  Petting Jared’s insides, Jensen pulls his fingers out slowly.  Squeezing some more lube into his palm, a wet squelch fills the room as he fists his own dick, slicking it up enough to give Jared a smooth ride.  When he pauses to look down at the man, his chest heaves and his stomach tightens in anticipation.  “So you really want to do this?”  Jensen asks as he nestles himself between Jared’s thighs and wraps them around his waist.

“Mmm hmm.”  With a nod, Jared pulls Jensen closer, fitting their hips together.  “I…I didn’t think we’d have another baby but now that we’ve talked about it…I can’t think of a reason why we wouldn’t.”  His lips find Jensen’s as he stretches his neck upwards and nibbles at his husband’s lips.  “I wanna…” Sentence dropping off, Jared’s eyes fill with the need to be reassured.  He pulls away enough so that they still share the same breath but he could bite his lower lip.  “You do wanna, right Jen?”

“Wanna have another baby?”  Jensen clarifies.  He waits for Jared’s slow nod before kissing him sweetly on the lips.  “Yeah, Jay.  Yeah.”  There is another slow kiss before he nuzzles closer to Jared’s neck and sighs against the warm spans of skin there.  “Yes.  I want to have another baby with you.”

Voice raising, as if touched at actually hearing Jensen say the words again, despite the previous discussion, Jared’s lips curve into an easy smile.  “You do?”

“Yeah.”  Shuffling forward, Jensen hooks an arm under Jared’s right knee and tugs him closer so he can wrap his husband’s leg around his waist.  “Of course I do.  I…”  Jensen blushes slightly and lets out a nervous laugh.  “Having Liam might not have been our original plan but I’m glad you got pregnant six years ago.  I had no idea how much I wanted a baby till the doctor put him in my arms.  He’s so perfect.  I was scared about losing you…losing _us_ if we had a baby.  But that didn’t happen.  It just made me love you more.  It made us a family.  And after raising an amazing five year old, I think we’re more than ready to give Liam a sibling.  I really want to.”  The words are punctuated with Jensen lining his dick up with Jared’s prepped opening and nudging inside with a swift jut of his hips.

“Auhh,” Jared’s breath leaves him in a breathy sigh and his eyes flutter at the sudden stretch and burn.  He lets out another gasp but it holds so much more than the slight pain from his husband’s initial thrust inside him.  There is pleasure in the satisfaction of being filled by the man he loves and the resulting pressure.  “Ohh, Jen.  I love this part.”  Lips parted, he smiles with every part of his face.

Jensen hikes Jared’s legs wider as he bottoms out.  “Me too.”  There is a wiggle of his hips as he rolls to get used to the tight heat of Jared’s body. 

The rest of the coupling turns into a combination of hands gripping on the edge of being too tight, thrusts getting more frantic and moans building in volume.

It’s not their most graceful coupling but the slip and slide of their sweat damp skin hurdles them towards completion.

Jared loops his arms around Jensen’s neck as he holds on for dear life, body rocking against their mattress so hard that he can feel the shift of the actual structure under him.  Their words dissolve into grunts and each thrusts of their hips are punctuated with a gasp or moan.  Growling, Jensen pulls up onto his knees, grabbing Jared’s legs by the ankles and holding them up in the air in a wide V so that he can bury himself in the tight heat of his husband’s body.

The angle lends itself to being so deep that Jared’s pupils are blown wide.  He gasps and tries to get a handle on what’s happening but it’s too late.  He starts shivering, mouth gaping open and closed in an attempt to get sounds out but all he can do is watch Jensen thrust into him.

Jensen’s grip on Jared’s ankles tightens.  He squeeze his eyes shut and his hips start moving more forcefully, balls slapping up against Jared’s ass at the completion of each thrust.  He feels the shiver running through Jared and it’s apparently contagious because he tenses and shivers and they both know exactly what’s going to come next.  “Jare…I…”

Finding the last shreds of his control, Jared reaches a hand up Jensen’s chest and holds it flat against his sternum.  “Do it.”

Jensen more than does it.  He rolls his hips on each thrust and nails it.

Jared comes untouched and his eyes widen like it shocks him.  Ropes of come pulse out onto his belly while his dick twitches with his release.  Everything in his body hums in satisfaction while his muscles make frantic tensing and releasing movements.

Watching Jared come seems to surprise Jensen just as much because Jensen lets out a lusty breath and his heart explodes.  “Holy shit, Jay.”  Warmth spreads through his body like wildfire and he gives a handful of strong thrusts before he’s joining his husband in orgasm.  The only difference is that he’s shooting his seed deep inside the twitching channel of Jared’s insides.  He rides out his climax with a stutter of his hips before none to gracefully collapsing on top of Jared’s body.

The room is filled with the lasting heat of their coupling and ragged panted breathing.  Jared’s whine mingles with it all as he shoves against Jensen’s chest.  “Jen…heavy…”

With a dramatic roll, Jensen lands on his back beside his husband.  Their bellies are both sticky with come and their both suffering from the familiar shiver that is an aftershock of sex.  He’s wearing a goofy grin and sweat drenched skin.  “Sorry…I…you,” with a loud exhale, he faces Jared, “wow.”

“Yeah,” Jared agrees with his own smile.  Running a hand though his hair, he laughs at Jensen.  “You look pretty damn proud of yourself.”

“Well…yeah, I mean,” he makes a gesture to their messy stomachs, “you came from my dick alone.”

“It happens.”

“I know but…there’s like some deep seated satisfaction in knowing that I can do that.”  Pressing a kiss to Jared’s temple, he turns to grab some tissues from his nightstand.  After a second of trying to clean up their mess, he gives up.  “This is pointless.  We should just shower.”

Nodding in agreement, Jared watches Jensen sit up but stays laying on the damp sheets.

“Jay?”  Jensen asks with a curious cocking of his head.

“I…um…you know, I should probably lay here for a bit.  Make sure none of your hard work was in vain.”

“Huh? What?”  Jensen scratches at his head before his eyes widen in understanding.  “Oh!”  He lets out a stupid laugh, feeling foolish for not getting what his husband was saying beforehand.  “Just because we decided to have a baby doesn’t mean you’ll get pregnant after one try.”

“I know that!”  Jared snorts and shakes his head.  “It’s what happened with Liam though.  And it can’t hurt.”

Flopping back down on the bed beside Jared, Jensen laces their finger together and kisses his knuckles.  “Then I’ll stay here with you for a while.”  He gives another kiss and smiles.

Jared’s whole body hums happily.  He takes their laced hands away from Jensen’s lips and flips them so he can reciprocate the action on Jensen’s knuckles.  “You know, our kids is pretty damn smart.”

A million responses go through Jensen’s head before he replies with, “Of course he is.  He’s _our_ kid.”

It’s a silly brag but sometimes that type of biased dedication is strong enough to leave everyone involved feeling love, lucky, and like everything is going to be perfect.


	2. Unexpected

Weeks later, before a doctor’s appointment or any other event of medical merit, there was a pregnancy test.

This time, the little positive indicator in the test’s window wasn’t met with panic attacks or tears.  There weren’t any arguments or a sense of hopelessness.

There was still nervousness, but it came with genuine laughter.

This time the positive test result was met with kisses and excitement.

There would be no unhappy sets of grandparents or questions as to if they were certain that this is what they wanted.

There would be another baby and that was the goal all along.

**************

“Papa?”  Barefoot and clad in pajamas with furry monsters on them, Liam stands so that he can peer in through the bathroom’s cracked door at his father.  “Papa?  You okay?”

Jared blinks several times, startled by his son’s concerned voice.  He is sprawled out in front of the toilet, forehead resting on the porcelain as his hands grip the edges.  Clearing his throat, he goes to answer his son but a wave of nausea hits him and he retches into the bowl.  It’s thin and watery, having thrown up most of the solids from breakfast earlier.  Still, he groans and squeeze his eyes closed in discomfort.

“Papa?”  Liam pushes the door open and takes a step inside.  He takes another tentative step closer to his father and pauses.  Licking his lips in worry, he looks back towards where he came and calls for his other father.  “Daddy?”

“It’s okay, Liam.  Papa’s okay.”  Flushing the toilet, Jared wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand.  He tries to get up but decides against it and sits against the wall beside the toilet.  “Com’ere, baby.”  He holds out his arms towards Liam.  The little boy hesitates.  Using his hand to signal a “come here” motion, Jared tries to reassure his son.  “Papa’s okay.  Come here, baby.”

Liam launches himself at Jared but Jared’s ready for it.  He catches him, wrapping him up in a hug before sitting him on his thigh. 

“Are you sick, papa?” Liam’s green eyes are wide with worry.

“No, baby.  Not really.  I’m okay.”  Jared kisses Liam’s head and hugs him again.  “I am sorry if I scared you.”

Liam’s world is a lot simpler than his father’s and the pieces don’t add up for him.  Face knit in confusion and mirroring Jensen’s so much it’s scary, he pouts at Jared.  “But you threw up, papa.”

“I know.  But…well…”  Jared sighs at a loss for what to say.  Jensen fitting himself in the doorway makes him smile and they nod at each other before he turns his attention back to Liam.  “Remember how you said you wanted a brother?”

“Yeah.” Liam’s humph is enough to remind Jared and Jensen that their son is still miffed about the whole conversation and initial dismissal of having another baby.

“Well, I’m not sick.  I’m just not feeling very good right now because I’m…we…you’re…”  Jared gets stuck on the wording and figuring out how to make the news digestible to a five year old.  “You’re going to be a big brother in a few months because daddy and I are going to have another baby.”

Liam pulls back, face filled with uncertainty rather than understanding.  “Huh?”

“Li,” Jensen starts as he enters the bathroom, closes the toilet lid and takes a seat on it.  “Papa’s going to have a baby.”

Little head turning from Jared to Jensen and then back to Jared, Liam raises both eyebrows.  His words are slow like he’s still trying to figure out if they make sense.  “The baby makes you sick?”

“Sometimes,” Jared says with a special smile for his son.

Liam crosses his arms over his chest.  His furrowed brows still reveal that he’s confused but he’s also letting off annoyed vibes.  “Well, he’s a bad baby.”

Jensen laughs.  “It’s not the baby’s fault, Liam.  You used to make papa sick _all the time_ before you were born.”

Wheels spin in Liam’s head before he shakes it.  “I made you sick, papa?”

Cupping Liam’s cheek, Jared brushes that pad of his thumb over the childish roundness there.  “Sometimes, yeah, you did.  But it’s okay.  I doesn’t matter.”

“I made you throw up?” Liam continues.

“Yeah.  But – ” Jared doesn’t get to finish because Liam is throwing himself at him in a big hug.  “Ooof!”

“I’m sorry, papa.”

“Aww, Liam. It’s okay, baby.  It wasn’t your fault.  It just happens.”  Rocking Liam against his body, Jared gives Jensen a worried glance.  “Don’t cry, baby.”

Jensen reaches out to ruffle Liam’s hair but he just buries himself more deeply into Jared’s arms.  “Hey, Liam, it’s okay buddy.”

Liam has a moment of dramatic hysterics.  Normally, he’s a level headed kid but he’s always been sensitive to anyone thinking he’s done something wrong.  That quality has worked great with discipline but sometimes it gets Liam snagged on issues that are completely out of his hands.

Sniffling, Liam pulls up to face Jared.  He’s torn between staying upset and letting his curious brain get the better of him.  Curiosity wins out and his questions come in shaky inquires.  “Where is my brother?”

Smiling, Jared wipes away his son’s tears.  “Well, you might have a sister.  Daddy and I don’t know that yet.  But the baby is here,” he put a palm over his barely distended middle, “in my belly.”  Waiting to check Liam’s level of comprehension, Jared continued.  “Remember when aunt Julie’s belly got really big and I told you that baby Katie was inside?”  Liam nodded.  “Well, your little brother or sister is inside my belly.”

“Why?”

“Because, that is where babies grow until they’re big enough to be born and come live with their parents and siblings.”

“Ohh.”  Liam pushes up Jared’s shirt and his tiny hands press flat on each side of Jared’s bellybutton.  He looks at his father’s middle in confusion.  “How did it get in there?”

Jared gives Jensen a helpless look and comes face to face with a similar look on Jensen’s face.  Shrugging, he mutters, “here goes anything,” under his breath and covers Liam’s hands with his own.  “Well, when people want a baby, like me and daddy did, they can…um…do some things to make sure that they get one.”

“Like what?”  Liam’s tears are completely gone and replaced by nothing but interest.

“Like…well...”  Jared deflects to Jensen.  “Like what, daddy?”

“Me?”  Jensen points to his chest stupidly.  “Well, after papa and I talked to you about having a little brother, we had to talk about it ourselves after you went to sleep.  And we decided it was a really good idea.  You’re so smart.”  Liam smiled at that.  “And so, me and papa worked together to help make a brother or sister for you.  And we put the baby in papa’s belly so it can grow big and strong so you can play with him or her.”

“Ohh.”  The explanation seemed to, surprisingly, satisfy Liam.  He turns back to Jared’s middle and yells.  “Stop making papa sick!”

“Oh god, I hope he listens,” Jared whispers up at Jensen with palpable exhaustion on his face.

“And I don’t want a sister.  I want a brother.”  Liam leans down and lets his yelling fall away.  A quick kiss to Jared’s stomach melts both his parent’s hearts.

“Li, I know you want a brother but when two people have a baby you can’t pick if the baby is a boy or a girl,” Jensen offers.

“Why?”

Rolling his eyes at starting Liam off on another adventure in questioning, Jared tries to sidetrack their son.  “Are you excited that you’re going to be a big brother?”

Instead of answering, Liam keeps up his questioning.  “When can I play with my brother?”

“Well, your brother _or sister_ will be born in six months.  How does that sound?”

“Six months is a _long_ time.  Can he come now?  I want to go play with him in the backyard.”  Liam smiles wide at the idea and bites his lower lip.

Both adults laugh.

Jensen stands up and scoops Liam into his arms, tickling his middle and prompting a fit of laughter to pour out his mouth.  “Your little brother _or sister_ had to grow in papa’s belly for a while.  How about you and I go get dressed and we can go play outside?”

“Okay!”  Liam hugged Jensen around the neck.  “And then afterwards can my brother come make sauce with us?”

Jared shook his head and let out a laugh.  It was going to be a long six months.

***************

Jared falls onto the couch like his legs don’t have the strength to keep him upright anymore.

Despite having the type of job where he can sit for more of the day, he’s still exhausted.

He’s thankful Jensen is picking Liam up from school today because he doesn’t have the energy to do anything.

His hands coast over the large swell in his middle, tracing the area in knowing movements.  His hands land over where he knows that baby’s rear is and then move outward to press against the leg that jutting painfully into his ribs.

He’s tired and miserable.

He’s big and uncomfortable and nothing but getting this baby out is going to help that.

The door bursts open and he sighs in exhaustion at just thinking about getting up to greet his family, no matter how much he adores them.

“Papa!”  Liam runs through the room, clasping a piece of construction paper to his chest.  “Papa!  Look what I made for Ryan!”  He turns the paper out to face Jared.  It is covered in glitter and feathers.  The name Ryan is written with an unsteady hand in the middle of the paper, each letter increasing in size from left to right.

Jensen is right behind his son, Liam’s tiny backpack slung over his shoulder.  “Thank god we’re having another boy.  I am pretty sure Liam would demand a re-do if Ryan turned out to be a girl.”

Snorting in agreement, Jared nods.  “Hi, baby.”  Still lying on the couch, he reaches out a hand and pats Liam’s check.  “Oh wow!  Look at that nice sign.  Ryan is going to love it.”

“Can he come out now so I can show it to him?”  Liam puts on his best smile and rocks back on his heels.

“Soon, baby.”  Jared rests both hands on his middle again and feels a kick under his palm.  “Here,” Jared grabs Liam’s hand and presses it to where the baby just moved, “he wants to say ‘hi’ to you.”

Liam’s face lights up.  Between moments of being confused about human reproduction and impossible demands that his brother play with him, Liam has had genuine moments of awe when interacting with his soon to be little brother.  He gets closer to Jared’s middle and kisses it.  “Hi, Ryan!”

Jensen’s smile widens at the sight.  He takes a seat on the couch near Jared’s kicked up feet and soaks it all in.

The moment passes eventually when Liam pulls up and smiles at Jared.  “Papa, can you come play with me?”

It looks like it breaks Jared’s heart when he declines.  “Ohh, baby, papa isn’t feeling so great right now.  Can daddy play with you for a little while?”

Liam’s face falls.  “But I want to play with you, papa.  I play with daddy all the time.”

It’s true.  Jared knows it is.  He’s been feeling too much pressure and too uncomfortable to get down on the ground and play with Liam’s racetrack with him. “I know, Liam.  But papa is really tired today.”

The shift in Liam’s demeanor happens in slow motion.  His face goes from excited, to disappointed, to frustrated, to being upset in closely followed steps.

“Come on, buddy.  How about I play with you for a bit while papa rests?”  Jensen stands up and holds out a hand towards Liam.

“But I wanna play with papa!”  Liam stamps a tiny foot and the action looks more adorable than intimidating.  “I don’t want my brother to be in papa’s belly anymore!”  Tears build in his little eyes and Jared feels helpless.  “If he was out, he could play with me.”  Liam lets a tear fall.

Jared knows Liam just misses playing with his papa but it’s still a complicated situation.  Liam is only five and he doesn’t understand what a toll this pregnancy is taking on Jared.  He’s been trying to balance being Liam’s papa and making sure not to strain himself during the tail end of his pregnancy.  It’s been difficult and he’s glad it’s almost over.  He wishes he had to magic words to make things better for Liam but all he can do is pull his son to his chest and hug him.

Between tears, Liam pulls away. “I want him out!”

*****************

“I want him out!” Jared screams.

Jensen looks helpless to fulfill that plea while Jared is crushing every bone in his hand.

“He’s almost out,” the doctor confirms from his space between Jared’s legs.

“Fuck!”  Jared’s hair is damp and clinging to his forehead.  After hours of labor he is more than ready to be done with this whole business.  He grabs onto the hospital bed’s railing with one hand while getting a better grip on Jensen’s hand as he pitches forward and lets out a litany of curses again.  “This is worse.  This is worse than when Liam was born.”  He starts panting oddly and gives out a pained cry.

“You’re doing great.  He’s almost here,” the doctor says while giving his patient a reassuring nod.  “Big push now.”

The last time Jared was in this situation, there was fear and uncertainty.  There were two sets of parents who were crying over the fact that they were going to be grandparents but the tears were mixed with sadness.  There were two soon-to-be parents who had no idea what they were doing and nurses and doctors who were trying to coach them through it.  There was Jensen who had to leave the room because everyone thought he was going to pass out onto to come back and practically throw up when Jared started crowning.  Jared and Jensen’s world wasn’t laid out for them and by the time Jared pushed a screaming Liam into the world, they still hadn’t known what road they were driving down.

None of that is happening now.  Everything is different, except for the pain.  The pain is there and Jared screams so loud he swears his parents hear him in the waiting room.  He pushes hard, past the burn and fear that this will never end.

There is too much pressure for Jared to think.

There is Jensen pressing his forehead against Jared’s temple and telling him that he’s doing great.

Then there is a loud vocalized push and a messy newborn being caught by the doctor’s capable hands.

“It’s a boy.”  The doctor wipes off the baby while a nurse suctions his mouth and nose.  As soon as there is an unsteady wail, the doctor holds up the baby so his parents can get a clear view of him.  “Happy birthday.”

Jared is shaking and his chest is heaving so intensely that his vision dims for a second.  Taking in the sight of his new son, there is a smile on his lips when he turns towards Jensen.  “Oh, Jensen!”

Jensen is falling apart more quickly than Jared.  He’s still pale from watching Jared give birth but his weak stomach held it together better than last time.  There are tears in his eyes and a wide proud grin on his lips.  “He’s just as perfect as Liam.”

They both share an emotionally charged laugh and Jensen slams their lips together hard enough to feel the vibrations adrenaline is causing.

They break apart so Jensen can cut the cord and for a moment Jared thinks his husband is going to pass out from the bloody mess of it all but he gets the job done and get his arms around baby Ryan.

They get to hog Ryan all to themselves for a while.

It’s so much different from when they were here last.

They know how to hold a newborn and Jared’s a pro at feeding him.

Jensen’s still afraid of changing the baby because Ryan is so new and everything about him is micro-sized.  He doesn’t run away from the challenge, however.  He takes his time because he knows he’s this little human being’s dad and he is always going to be there to protect him.

Eventually, they get the okay to introduce Liam to his new, long awaited, little brother.

The minute Jensen sets Liam down on the floor or Jared’s hospital room, the little boy takes off like a shot towards his papa.  He scrambles up the chair at the side of the bed.  “Papa!”

“Hi, Liam!”  Jared has Ryan tucked into the crook of his arm.  “I’ve got someone here who wants to meet you.”

“My brother!”  Liam fidgets on the seat of the chair and gets onto his knees so he can lean over the bed and get a closer look at Ryan.

“Yeah.  Say hi to your little brother.”  Jared cradles Ryan so that he is more exposed, pulling back the blanket so his firstborn can see his face.

“Hi, Ryan.”  Liam instinctively reaches out to grab the baby.  His hands lock around the baby’s middle and he makes a movement to pick him up but it startles Ryan so much that he lets out a loud cry of distress.  Liam’s actions are so sudden that both men are taken by surprise and react poorly.  Jensen grabs Liam around the waist and yanks him away, setting him on the ground and turning his back to him while he makes sure Ryan is okay.

“You okay?”  Jensen runs worried hands over his youngest son.

Jared’s heart is in his throat.  His eyes are wide as he scoops Ryan up and settles him over his shoulder, bouncing him with a soothing rhythm.  He nods at Jensen but he’s shaken.

Ryan, however, isn’t the only one crying.  Liam’s bottom lip starts quivering before the neglect of his father’s sets him over the edge and he lets out a loud, wet sniffle.

“Liam,” Jensen turns around and crouches down so that he is at his son’s level.  “You can’t do that!  You have to be careful with him.”

“I’m sorry, daddy.”  Liam rubs at his eyes and tries to hug Jensen but his father grabs him by the shoulders and holds him there.

“Do you understand, Liam?  You have to be gentle.  He’s just a baby.  I know you want to touch him but you can’t pull him like that.”

Liam cries harder, little lungs trying to keep up with him and letting out unsteady breaths.  “I’m sorry, daddy.  I’m sorry!”

Jensen’s concern for Ryan gives way to concern for Liam and he pulls the crying boy into his arms.  “I know you are.  It’s okay, baby.  You just have to be more careful next time, okay?”

“Okay.”  Liam buries his face in Jensen’s neck.  When Jensen stands up to take a seat beside Jared, not once does Liam take a look at his new brother.  Instead, his sniffling peters out and he busies himself in toying with the strings from Jensen’s hoodie.

Jared looks over the situation with concern but Ryan spits up on his shoulder and draws all his attention away from Liam’s behavior.

***************

Jensen is walking in a circle with Ryan over his shoulder.  The newborn is giving his lung power a run for his money as he screams his way through the middle of the night.  “Shh, Ryan, it’s okay.  Shh.”  He continues to bounce the baby.

“You want me to take him?” Jared asks from the bed.

“No.  It’s my turn.  You got up last time.”  Jensen replies over his shoulder before setting off in another circle.  “Hey, buddy.  It’s okay.”

The crying doesn’t stop.  It’s the same thing every night.

Ryan is fed.  He’s dry.  He’s not too hot or cold.  He is, however, colicky.  He cries and fusses and exhausts his parents every night.

There is a knock at their bedroom door and Liam doesn’t wait for a response before he pushes it open and scampers inside.  “Daddy!  Too loud.”

“I know, Liam.  I’m sorry.  Ryan isn’t feeling so good right now.”  Keeping up his walking, Jensen circles over to where Liam is rubbing a set of sleepy eyes.

“Make him stop.”  Liam states with a pout.   He looks up at Ryan’s red face and covers his ears at the new set of cries the baby lets out.  “Stop, Ryan!  Too loud!”

Jared sighs and pushes up from the bed.  “Come here, baby.  Papa will take you back to bed while daddy makes Ryan stop, okay?”  He holds out a hand to his son.

Liam grabs it and lets himself be led out of the room by his father but he glares at the baby with an unhappy frown.

****************

There is a peaceful silence in the house.

Liam is happily coloring at the kitchen table and Jared has finally, _finally_ , rocked Ryan to sleep and nestled him in the bassinet they keep in their living room.

He can still hear the ringing in his ears from his youngest son’s cries.  Tip toeing to the couch, he’s afraid to make any noise that might shatter the silence.  He sits down and lets his eyes fall closed for a moment, not intending to nap but needing a few minutes to rest his eyes.

He gets thirty seconds because Liam comes barreling into the room.

“Papa!” His voice is loud and excited.

“Shh!”  Jared turns and puts a finger up to his lips to shush his oldest.  In a hushed whisper, he warns, “Ryan is sleeping.  Be quiet.”

Liam thinks on this.  He holds up his coloring book and says, very quietly, “I colored this for you.”

Whisper quiet, Jared replies with a smile.  “Oh, baby, thank you.”  He takes the coloring book so that he can trace his fingers over the waxy crayon lines littering the page.

“Can Ryan come color with me?”  Liam’s voice is shrill with excitement.  “Please!”

Jared cringes.  Almost immediately, Ryan lets out a whine.  He sits in wait, hoping the baby goes back to sleep but he cries louder and then Jared hears a wet spit-up sound that lets him know he needs to tend to his son.

“Liam!  I told you to be quiet!”  Jared sighs, and gets to his feet.  The coloring book falls to the floor and he brushes past both it and Liam towards the baby.  Ryan’s onesie is covered in spit-up and Jared knows he’s going to have to change him.  “Awww, you poor baby.”  He throws one of their many burp cloths over his shoulder and slides both arms under Ryan so he can cradle him.  “Shhh, it’s okay little guy.”

Liam is crying, letting out a mixture of frustrated tears and genuine regret for disobeying his father.  “I forgot, papa.  I didn’t want to make him wake up.”  He follows Jared and wipes his tear streaked face on his pants.  “I’m sorry!”

Jared feels like he’s on the verge of crying himself.  He wants to.  He really, really, _really_ , wants to.  Instead, he rubs soothing circles on Ryan’s back and tries to head towards the newborn’s nursery.  He’s impeded, however, by Liam clinging to his leg and practically hanging off him.  “Liam, I have to go change Ryan.”

“I’m sorry, papa!”  Liam sniffles loudly, nose turning snotty.

“I know you are, baby.  I _know_.  But you have to try harder, okay?”  There is a torn expression that crosses Jared’s face and he wishes he could put Ryan down and hug Liam but the baby gets more impatient and wails so loudly it makes Jared see stars.  “Come on, Li.  You gotta let go.  Go find daddy or something.”

Dejected, Liam rubs at his runny nose with the back of his hand and gives his father the most pathetic pout he’s ever seen.  Without another word, he takes off with heavy stomps of his feet.

**************

Liam lays on his belly in the middle of the playground, marching his action figure across the tall blades of grass.  He uses his other hand to send a car zooming towards the toy, hopping the figure inside and rolling it towards Ryan.  The infant is laying on his back next to his brother while Jared and Jensen figure out how to manage feeding both their kids during the picnic.  With exaggerated engine sounds, Liam drives the car over Ryan’s belly.  His movements are just too rough to be newborn friendly and Ryan lets out a startled noise of distress.

“Liam!  Gentle!”  Jensen grabs Liam’s wrist and forces him to bring the car back to the grass.

“I just want to play with him, daddy.”  Liam pouts and holds up his car for emphasis.

“I know, buddy.  But he’s too little to play like that. Here,” Jensen digs into Ryan’s diaper bag and pulls out a brightly colored stuffed octopus with rattles on each tentacle.  “He likes this toy.  You can play with him with this.  Shake it near his head and see if he follows the noise.”

Ignoring the octopus, Liam goes back to rolling his car in the grass and refusing to look at Jensen.  “I wanna play with cars.”

“One day you two can play with cars, but right now Ryan is too little.”

“Ryan isn’t much fun.”  Liam gives a sigh and shifts away from his family, scooting a few feet to the left on his belly so he can crash his car far _far_ away from delicate Ryan.

**************

Ryan, thankfully, isn’t so colicky anymore.  He doesn’t cry as often and he’s happier more than he’s distressed.

It’s nice because now Jared thoroughly enjoys nursing his son.  He snuggles the baby closer and stares down at his big almond shaped eyes and tuft of light brown hair.  He smiles at the fact that Ryan looks exactly like he did when he was a baby.

The baby makes a medley of facial expressions and draws several laughs out of Jared before the man decides to actually feed him.

Out of all the road bumps they hit with bringing Ryan home, nursing him isn’t one of them.  In fact, he’s been almost the polar opposite of Liam.  Liam was easy going and took to everything except nursing.  Despite Jared’s attempts with Liam, it proved too frustrating to keep trying.  Nurses blamed it on Jared’s inexperience and stress.  Some said he was too young to properly get the importance of it all.  It made Jared want to prove everyone wrong but Liam seemed set on being stubborn and only wanting bottles.  This time, he gets a chance to actually nurse his baby.  That fact that he can do that in and of itself is a giant pat on the back.

It’s been hard to savor the victory, however, because Ryan has been so difficult and Liam isn’t making anything easy on him or Jensen.

Now, it is just Ryan and Jared and things seem so simple when Ryan latches on and nurses with gusto.  His little lips suckle but he keeps his eyes trained on Jared, completely fixated on his father’s voice.

A teeny fist hits against Jared’s chest and it is immediately dwarfed by Jared’s as he curls his fingers around the tiny appendage.  “Hey, Ryan.  You hungry?”

“Papa, can you come push me on the swing?”  Liam pops up next to the couch with a big grin and a toy soldier in his hands.

Jared jolts upright and then lets out a laugh.  “Liam, you startled me!”

“What’s ‘startled’?”

“It means you scared me.”  Jared looks down and realizes Ryan was startled too.  His milky lips are in a surprised O and he looks confused as to what interrupted his meal.  Running a hand over the curve of the baby’s skull, Jared’s thumb brushes against the baby’s cheek before he guides him back to latching on again.  “You scared Ryan too.”

Liam looks unfazed and chews on the inside of his cheek.  “So, can you push me on the swing now?”

Frowning, Jared gives his son an apologetic pout.  “I can’t now, Li.  I have to feed Ryan right now.”

“You’re _always_ feeding Ryan.”

“Well, not always but…yeah…he doesn’t eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner like you and I do.  And he’s little, so it takes him a while to get the hang of things.”  Jared offers in explanation.  He’s not sure how to make Liam understand that his little brother eats less but it takes a lot longer to feed him than it does for Liam to eat his meals.

“Can I…Can I feed him?”  Liam hops on the couch, crawls as close as he can towards his papa and bites his lip.

“Well…maybe, baby.  But…I don’t have any bottles right now and he’s still really little.  Maybe when he’s a bit older you can.  How does that sound?”  Jared gives his son an unreciprocated smile.  “But you can talk to him a bit while he eats.  I think he’d like that.”

“That’s boring. _He’s boring_.”  Liam sulks and his whole body sags like his energy is deflating.  “I’m bored!  Can you play with me, papa?  Please?  Pretty please?”  He smiles and bounces back on his heels.

“I told you, Li.  I can’t right now.  Maybe after Ryan finishes eating but then we have to go food shopping and – ”  Jared is cut off by a very angry five year old.

“I **hate** Ryan!  I hate him!  He never does anything and you always play with him and not me!”  Before Jared can even predict the action, Liam throws his action figure directly at Ryan, landing is squarely on the baby’s forehead.

Ryan screams louder than Jared’s ever heard the infant scream before and his blood goes cold as he watches his tiny baby wail in pain while his oldest son is still yelling about how much he hates his brother.

“Liam!”  Jared reacts quickly and smacks at Liam’s hand.  “You hurt him!”

“Good!”  Liam pull away from Jared and scrambles back against the couch’s arm rest.

“Good?”  Jared can’t believe what he is hearing.  He blinks three times and struggles to figure out how to deal with the situation.  Ryan is still making a ruckus in his arms and he is torn between comforting the baby and reprimanding Liam.  He tries to do both at the same time, stealing worrisome glances at the baby and shushing him while directing stern words towards Liam.  “You know what, Liam?  You go to your room and think about what you did.  You sit up there until daddy or papa comes and gets you.”

“But…”

“Go!”  There is a tremble in Jared’s voice and he points a shaky finger towards the stairwell.

The defiance in Liam’s face goes out and it’s replaced by five year old puppy eyes.  He slinks off the couch and drags his feet up the stairs.

Jared turns back to Ryan, who has a huge red welt on his sensitive skin and is getting so worked up that he actually spits up all over the front of Jared’s chest.  The man lets out a frustrated exhalation but he’s too focused on the baby to realize Liam’s letting out some pretty distressed cries of his own.

*****************

For a brief moment, Jensen has no idea what he’s looking at.

He grabs the video baby monitor and notices that the flurry of activity in the corner is actually Liam.

Sighing and dropping his head, he puts the monitor down and heads off to see what his oldest son is doing with his own eyes.

Pushing open the nursery door, he finds Ryan blissfully asleep but Liam ransacking every one of the baby’s drawers.  The clothing that Jared had so painstakingly washed and folded was thrown around the room.  There are diapers everywhere as well and Jensen has to compose himself by pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes for a breath.  He opens them to find Liam shoving some of Ryan’s onesies in his school bag.

“Liam?  What are you doing?”

“I’m packing for Ryan,” Liam answers but keeps his eyes focused on his task.  He grabs a handful of diapers and shoves them in the bag.  By the time he adds pairs of socks and the blush winter body suit, things are bursting out of the small backpack.

“Why are you packing for Ryan?” Jensen asks with legitimate curiosity.

“Because, I’m bringing him back to the hospital.”

“You’re what?”

Liam puts the bag down in front of Jensen and looks at his father for the first time.  “He cries all the time and he’s really boring.  He doesn’t do anything.  And you and papa are always playing with him.  I don’t like him.”

“Don’t say that, Liam.  He’s your brother.”  Jensen gets down to his son’s level.

“I don’t want to be his brother.”

“You don’t mean that, do you, buddy?”

Liam nods.  “I do.  I don’t like him.  So…maybe he can go back to the hospital now.  I think maybe they miss him and there are a lot of people to play with him.  And then you can play with me again like you used to.”

Jensen’s heart breaks.  He pulls Liam into his arms and hugs him tightly.  “Baby, you know how much papa and I love you?”  He can feel Liam’s little head nod a ‘yes.’  “Well, that is how much we love Ryan too.  He’s our son too, just like you.  So he’s not going anywhere right now.  But, you’re right.  Papa and I haven’t had much time to play with you lately, have we?”

Liam doesn’t speak but he shakes his head in a silent ‘no.’

“That isn’t fair to you.  I’m sorry, buddy.”  Standing up, Jensen hoists Liam up so he is propped on his hip.  “We’ve been pretty bad, huh?”

Liam shakes his head again.  He looks like he’s about to cry.  “No.”  Rubbing at his eyes, he lurches forward and loops his arms around Jensen’s neck and holds on tight.  “Was I bad?  Did I hurt Ryan?”

Jensen catches his son and puts a reassuring palm on the center of his back.  “What, yesterday?”  Liam gives a silent nod.  “Yes, Liam.  You hurt Ryan.  You could have hurt him really bad but he’s okay.  And you were bad.  You had to make sure you are extra careful around Ryan.  That can be you super-secret big boy mission.  Can you do that?”

“Uhh huh,” Liam says as he nods.  “So I just have to not hurt him until we bring him back to the hospital?”

Shoulders falling, it’s Jensen’s turn to shake his head.  “No, Liam.  Ryan isn’t going back to the hospital.”

The words sink in and Liam kicks himself free of Jensen’s hold, stomping his way towards his bedroom so he can slam the door loudly.

Jensen is left with an excess of baby clothing to pickup and a nagging feeling in his gut that things with Liam are spiraling out of control.

*************

Jared enters their bedroom silently, creeping in and closing the door gently so as not to disturb the scene on the middle of his and Jensen’s bed.

Jensen is propped up on his left side, his forearm supporting most of his weight, while he trails his fingers over Ryan’s round belly and coaxes little smiles out of the baby.  He has a huge smile of his own on his face and he coos at Ryan in a way that no one, save for Jared, has ever seen him coo before.  He looks so vulnerable and exposed and Jared can’t help but linger on the outside of the moment for just a while longer.

Jensen’s head turns towards the door and his smile widens.  “Hey.”

“Hey.”  Crawling onto the bed, Jared returns the smile.

“Liam go down to bed okay?”

“Yeah.  He’s out.”

“I got worried.  It took a little while.”  Cupping Jared’s face, Jensen runs a thumb down Jared’s lips so the pad briefly gets caught on the lower portion.

Guilt tinges Jared’s cheeks.  “I might have read him an extra bedtime story…or three…or four.”

“Four?” Jensen questions.

“Come on, Jen.  He deserves it.  You know he does.  He didn’t want to let go of me.  It was like peeling out of a vice grip when I tried to slide out of his bed.”

“I know.”  Jensen’s smile turns sad for an instant.

“We have to talk about Liam, Jen.”  Jared joins his husband on the bed, laying on his right side and bracketing the baby’s body so that Ryan is almost sandwiched between them.

“I know,” Jensen says for a second time.

“Liam’s out of control with Ryan.  I can’t even trust him around the baby anymore.  I feel like…Liam isn’t the little boy we knew two months ago and I have no idea what is going on with him.”  Jared sighs and looks up at Jensen with conflicted eyes while his voice cracks and lets all the heartbreak out.  “I mean…he’s my baby!  Do you know how much it breaks my heart when I see him crying or getting frustrated and I know I can’t do anything about it?”

“Trust me, I know.  I feel the same way.  He’s so angry all the time, like he thinks we had another baby so we could forget about him,” Jensen says as his voice takes on a pained note.

“Exactly.  And then…”  Jared pauses like the weight of what he has to say is too heavy for him to get our on one try.  He looks down at Ryan and a storm of conflictions rolls though his eyes.  He chews on his lower lip as he traces his pointer finger over Ryan’s nose.  “Don’t get me wrong.  I _love_ Ryan.  I can’t picture my life without him.  But, do you ever think that maybe we made a mistake in having another baby?  Because – ”

“Shut up, Jared.”  Jensen’s eyes go wide in disbelief as he firmly cuts his husband’s musings off.  “Shut up.  Don’t even think like that.  Ever.  I know Liam isn’t adjusting too well to having Ryan around but he’s been an only child for five years.  It’s tough on him.  There is no way that having another baby could ever be a mistake.  Ever.  You got that?”

Jared lets out a puff of air so that his lips puff out with it.  “God, you’re right.  I know.  I don’t think like that, not really.  I am just so stressed.  Between making sure Liam doesn’t kill Ryan and making sure they both don’t kill me – because I swear this rift between them is going to be the death of me – I just have no idea what’s up and what’s down.”

Reaching out a hand, Jensen laces his fingers with Jared’s.  Their conjoined hands come to rest over Ryan’s belly and the baby seems to approve.  He lets out a happy coo and hits his fathers’ hands with balled up fists.

“Liam is…well, Liam is just being Liam.  He’s smart, Jared.  You know that.  He’s not sure how to figure this situation yet and I think he’s testing the waters.  I was talking to my mother and she said I was almost the same way when I realized there was a new baby in town.  I wasn’t exactly a gem.”

“I know.  I knew there would be an adjustment period but Liam’s right.  We’ve both been so busy with Ryan that we didn’t take into account how much Liam’s life is being turned upside down as well.  I miss playing with him just as much.  I was just too sore, and too tired, and too busy right after Ryan came home.  And now?  I feel like I am still all three of those things.  I know things are going to get better but it’s hard for him to understand that.”  Jared looks down at his youngest son and lets a slow breath out though his nose.

“You’ve been dealing with so much, Jay.  I wish I didn’t have to go back to work so soon but…well, we have bills to pay.  Liam knows we love him.  I just think we need a day where we can remind him that he’s still our baby.  A day set aside just for Liam,” Jensen says with a shrug.

“ _That_ is a perfect idea.  I was actually thinking about it yesterday when I was talking to my father about Liam’s behavior.  Actually, come to think of it, it was my father’s idea.  He even offered to watch Ryan for a whole day if we wanted him to.”

“Then I say we let our new little man spend some time with grandpa while we take our first little man out for the day.” 

Jensen smiles so brightly that Jared isn’t sure who is going to be more excited about that idea.

****************

“Baby, wake up,” Jared says in his son’s ear from his position on his knees beside Liam’s bed.  “Baby.”

Liam gives a sleepy whine and buries himself deeper into the pillow.

“Liam, it’s getting late you sleepy head.”  Jared kisses the boys forehead.  When Liam just whines again, Jared slides his huge frame into the bed beside his son.  It’s an awkward fit and his legs hang off in an odd angel, but he pulls his son towards him.

“Papa?”  Liam’s voice is full of sleep and confusion.  He tests the reality of the situation, as if he expected it to be a dream, and latches onto Jared.  “Papa!”

“Morning, baby.”  Jared kisses his son’s crown again.  He waits for Liam to come into wakefulness on his own before tickling his belly and eliciting a peel of laughter from the boy.  “You have to wake up.”

Shifting, Liam rolls so he is facing Jared.  He reaches up two small palms and cups his father’s face.  “Why?”

“Because, daddy and I have a special day planned and we want to make sure we have enough time to go out for breakfast before we go to the zoo.”

“The zoo?”  The excitement in Liam’s voice is enough to let Jared know that his son is fully awake.  “Really, papa?”

“Mmm hmm.”  Jared smiles.  “Now we better get out of bed so we can get ready, huh?”

“Yeah!”  Liam attempts to sit up but Jared pulls him back down.

“On second thought, maybe we have enough time for one more hug.  A _really_ big one.”  Jared squeezes Liam to his chest, completely prepared for Liam to loop his arms around his neck and hug him tight enough so that the little boy’s chin fit over his shoulder.  “Ok, now we get ready!”

It takes Liam hardly any time at all to get ready for his outing.

Jensen’s armed with a toothbrush and toothpaste and they’ve already packed snacks and necessities for their day out.

They made sure Liam was squeaky clean before bed the night before.

Grandpa arriving throws Liam off for a moment but he’s too excited to do anything more than give him a hug and babble about how he is going to the zoo.

It doesn’t hit him that anything is different about their day until they’re walking out the door.

Liam turns an intelligent face towards Jensen.  “Daddy, what about Ryan?”

Jensen finishes tugging Liam’s coat on and thumps his nose.  “Ryan is going to hang out with Grandpa for a little while.  Today is going to be just you and me and papa.”

The grin the spreads over Liam’s face is priceless.  His catches his lower lip in his teeth and curves his lips up to the extreme.

They go out for pancakes.  It only takes a few chocolate chips in the batter to make Liam excited about that fact.  They let him put whipped cream on his pancake and he gets a big glass of chocolate milk.

He eats everything without having to be reminded to use his fork or wipe his mouth.

He’s practically an angel.

At the zoo, he bounces from exhibit to exhibit with an infectious childhood energy that makes everyone who meets him smile.

He makes sure to firmly place himself between Jared and Jensen, one hand clasping onto each of his parents’.

They walk through the whole zoo.  Jared and Jensen get a strong grip on Liam’s hands and sling him between them while they walk, filling the zoo with his happy giggles.

When he gets tired, Jensen carries him and he snuggles up near his neck and asks his father to read him facts about the animals.

After a million questions that Jared and Jensen do their best to field, he’s tired.

They tell him he can go to the gift shop and get anything he wants.

Needless to say, Jared and Jensen are both shocked when he picks out a onesie with the Zoo’s logo on it.

“Can we get this for Ryan?” Liam asks with a genuine plea to his eyes.

“Of-of course, baby!”  Jared feels himself tearing up at the sheer unexpectedness of the situation.  “Of course you can.  I think that’s a great idea.”

“Okay.  I think he’d like this one.  It has a monkey on it and sometimes he’s kind of like a monkey.  He makes loud noises.”  Liam puts the onesie in Jared’s hands.

“Oh, does he?”  Jensen asks.

“Uhh huh!”  Liam proceeds to demonstrate by making a sound that resembles neither a monkey nor Ryan but both men laugh all the same.

Jensen puts his hand on the top of Liam’s head with pride.  “Li, why don’t you pick something for yourself too?”

“Okay!”  There’s no hesitation in Liam’s voice or body as he shoots off across the store.  By the time Jared and Jensen catch up with him, he’s holding a shirt in his hands that’s way too large to fit anyone in their party.  It’s a simple white t-shirt but it has the same logo as the onesie he picked earlier.  “I want this.  Then me and Ryan can match.”

Laughing, Jared relieves Liam of the huge shirt and places it back on the rack.  “Why don’t we see if there is one that fits you, okay?”

Nodding, Liam grabs Jared’s hand and follows him through the store until they are successful in their mission and paying for both items.

The ride home is uneventful.  Liam dozes for a bit but wakes up enough to get himself into the house on his own.  He’s toting the gift shop bag and makes a bee line for the den where he hears the television playing.   “Grandpa! Grandpa!  Looks what I got!”  He doesn’t wait for a response; he simply pours the contents of the bag out on the floor and proceeds to ramble.  “We went to the zoo and we saw all the animals!  And I saw elephants and zebras and tigers!  But I didn’t see the lion.  Daddy said he was sleeping.  And then I saw a monkey and papa showed me a monkey that had a little baby monkey on his back and I thought that was cool.  And there was a- a- a- a big bird.  It was really big and Daddy said it was an ost-itch.”

“Ostrich,” Jensen corrects with a smirk.

Liam nods.  “Yeah, an ost-itch.  And there were penguins too but they were smelly.  Papa said it’s because they eat fish but my goldfish isn’t smelly so why were they smelly?”  The excitement pours out of the boy as he gives his own version of the day’s events.  He is derailed by a shrill cry from Ryan.  “Oh!  I got this for you, Ryan!”  He grabs the onesie and marches over towards the baby who is cradled in his grandfather’s arms.  Holding it up proudly, he asks, “see.  Do you like it?”

Ryan keeps crying, eyes squeezed shut.

The positive energy that had been building in Liam deflates.  “He doesn’t like it.”

“It’s not that, Liam.”  The older man leans forwards and pats his grandson on the cheek.  “I think he’s just a little hungry.  I was just going to feed him before you came in and told me that wonderful story.”

“Oh.”  Rocking back on his heels, Liam looks to Jared and Jensen.  “Can I feed him?  Please?  I’ll be gentle.  I promise.”

Jared and Jensen lock eyes in silent debate.  Licking his lips, Jared nods and then turns to his oldest son.  “You really want to feed him?”

There is a gentle nod from Liam and he laces his hands behind his back.

“Okay, then.  How about Daddy goes and gets his bottle and you and I get situated on the couch with grandpa.”  Jared grabs Liam under the arms and swings him so he is sitting in the corner of the couch.  “Comfy?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”  Thinking for a minute, Jared grabs some throw pillows and tucks them all around Liam’s body, especially under his arms.  “Okay.  So…you have to promise to be very careful.”

“I do.”

“And do everything papa tells you to.”

“I will.”

“And don’t let him go if he cries.”

“I won’t.  Promise.”  Liam nods along with each response.

“Okay.”  Jared kisses Liam on the cheek once before retrieving Ryan from the arms of his grandfather.  With careful consideration, he places the baby over Liam’s lap, nestled between pillows and safely cradled against his older brother.  “You can wrap your arm around him but you have to be careful.  Don’t squeeze him.”

Liam does exactly as he is told.  He slithers one arm behind the baby’s back and curls it around to support the infant.  He wraps his other arm over Ryan’s front, making a kind of protective circle with his arms.  Looking up at Jared, he has an accomplished grin on his face.  “Like this, papa?”

“Just like that, baby.”  For the second time in an hour, Jared feels his eyes tear up at Liam’s unpredicted actions.

Jensen walks in from the kitchen with one of the small bottles Jared had prepared for while they were away.  “Look at you, Liam!  You look like such a good big brother!”

“I do?”  Liam pipes.

“Yes you do,” Jared affirms.

“Here,” Jensen says as he hands Liam the bottle.  “You have to hold it like this.”  It takes a second for Jensen to get on his knees so that it is easier to help Liam hold the bottle.  Though the bottle is in Liam’s hand, Jensen maneuvers it so that the nipple toys with Ryan’s lips and he keeps it up until the baby starts suckling.  “There you go.  Just hold it up so he can get the milk.  See?”  He points to the clear bottle and the milk line.

“Okay.”  Liam tears his eyes away from his parents and smiles at Ryan.  “Hi, Ryan.”  He smiles wider and watches Ryan suckle for a few moments before looking up.  “He’s eating!”

Jared doesn’t have words.  He knows his eyes are welling up.  He knows he’ll cry more completely later on when he and Jensen get to relive the moment privately.  Right now, he doesn’t want to shed a tear in fear that it will distract Liam and make him think he did something wrong.  Instead, he nods.  “Let me get a picture, Liam.  Okay?”  He pulls out his cell phone and sets it to camera mode.  “Look at papa, Liam.”  Only, Liam doesn’t.  He keeps looking at Ryan and the picture is all the more perfect for that.

Jensen grabs Jared around the waist and saddles up next to him.  “Hey, look at our big boy.”

“I know, right?”

Liam lets out a giggle that draws both their attentions.

They turn to find Ryan locking eyes with Liam.  Ryan’s left first is raised up to meet the hand Liam has around the bottle.  Inside Ryan’s curled hand is Liam’s pinky and the baby doesn’t look like he has any intention of letting go anytime soon.

“He’s hugging my finger,” Liam lets out on a giggle.

Jared’s father leans over and whispers close to Liam’s ear.  “That’s because he loves his big brother.”

Pouting, Liam turns an apologetic face on Ryan.  “I’m sorry I hurted you, Ryan.  I’m sorry I hurt your head with my toy.  I’m sorry.  I don’t hate you.”

Ryan shakes Liam’s pinky.

“See, he forgives you,” Jared says.

“He does?” 

“Yep,” Jensen adds.  “He looks like he thinks you’re a pretty good big brother.”

Liam thinks long and hard for a minute.  His pintsized face screws up in debate before he says, with total sincerity, “I don’t think we should return him to the hospital.”

“No?”  Jensen asks.

“No.”  Gearing up for another question, Liam sucks in his lip.  “Can I bring him to school with me tomorrow?”

All the men laugh but Jared composes himself first.  “Well, he’s still too little to go to school with you but how about I drop you off at school tomorrow with Ryan in the car.  And you can bring in the picture I just took.  How about that?”

“Okay.”

And just like that, there are no complaints.  There is no fight.

For a second, everything is perfect.

The second comes to a halt when Ryan forces the bottle’s nipples out of his mouth and makes a telltale expression that he’s going to spit up a bit.

Not wanting to ruin the movement for Liam, Jared snatches the baby up and lets him spit up all down his shirt.  He doesn’t care.

He cares about Liam thinking he can be a good big brother.

And when Jared puts Ryan back in Liam’s arms, Liam proves that fact true.  He kisses the baby and whispers that he loves him.

It’s loud enough for both Jared and Jensen to hear.

“Best. Decision. Ever.”

Only one of them says it but it’s on both of their lips even if they both can’t get it out.  And maybe, just maybe, Liam is on the same page with them.

**Author's Note:**

> This story kinda got stuck in my brain. I hope the OP likes it and so do all my readers. Thank you for the wonderful, amazing, sweet, constructive comments. I adore them.


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